My best friend has a different last name

There weren't bells

But oh, joy was complete

There wasn't sun

But oh, they both shone

One of the best days of my life thus far

Has changed it forever in the saddest sense

One of the best days of their lives thus far

Has made them one under God

I can't describe how happy I am

Or how absolutely heartbroken I've become

The smile on my face is deceiving to all

What happens alone is the truth

The same ceremony I pray for myself

Doesn't seem logical, though

I've tried to ignore the absence of love

But now that she's gone... impossible

Jesus knows, and I'm sure He's trying

To bring to me the one who will complete my joy

Accident

Soon I'll be eating some dough

Trapped in a world of hats and happy faces

All for the cause of a fatal truth

My time will be fun, but her's was not

Thank goodness she had hope

The people she lived with had hope

A swerve created a problem

It shouldn't have

But it did and the world is one less

Expectancy is what enraptures them now

One day, up there, we'll eat at the same table

Oh, glory

Till then, we'll eat here for a cause

Maybe spread a little something

And frown with the family tonight

Record-breaking snow fall

It happened first

A chilly source

Of a smile

Yesterday

The thought was

To sit awhile

Reading a book

So I did

I woke up

A chilly nose

The book strewn

Ah, my favorite

Autumn in October

Lifting my face to soak in the sunshine

And breathe the scent

Things around us change so quickly

And so often

Without opposition

And I wonder...

Why is it in our nature to resist change?

Clearly God intended for the things on His earth

To change

I hear the sound of a mighty breeze

It refreshes

Terrifies some

Is what terrifies us perhaps for our benefit?

I think of the cross and all its redemptive power

Question answered

Crowds of those who get to enjoy

The clouds, the rain, the stars, the sea...

I sat for a bit to eat an apple

In the sunny afternoon

There's no sweeter thing

Than falling, crunchy leaves

The sounds

And smells

And warmth

Of life

A life in the hands of jealousy

I heard the injury, but did nothing about it.

I miss, but I don't want at all.

So long, free will, I'll see you in a while.

I'd like to, but should I call?

Let's see if my fingers push the buttons.

There's no reason for the muddling.

Or wishing.

I'm just sick of being out of it.

Now, after a long pause,

I miss the keys on the piano.

I'm ever wishing for the chance

To right it all.

My persistent requests get the button of rejection.

That's expected, though.

Scrounging for excuses,

Just to hear again.

There is no reason for this,

So I think I'd like to stop.

But then I hear and sit and listen,

And I fall all over again.

It happened over the course of time.

The ever-so-twisted un-fun stories.

I've quite recently come to the conclusion that I really do not like weird, twisted plots... in movies or books or whatever else people like Tim Burton come up with. I've in the past professed to enjoy twisted things like that, but I only noticed tonight how truly strange they make me feel. Why would I put myself through such an uncomfy feeling just for some entertainment?

Sorry, world... but I didn't like Coraline. If you're going to throw any veggies, throw tomatoes. They're soft and taste the best.

Twenty-one.

So. I've been an adult for approximately three days. At this point, I'm fairly certain that said age does not apply to my state of mind. At all. My parents were getting married at the age of twenty-one. There aren't even twenty-one boys in my life right now. I'm terrified that the common factor is finally peeking around the corner: moi.

I cannot blame anyone but myself for my current situation in life, right? Consequently, I blame myself. No shocker there. But you know, it's really not heroic to stand back, evaluate your life, and come to the conclusion that you suck. However true, such thoughts aren't very beneficial to one's health in any way. Nonetheless, that's the state I've been in for a while. I keep wondering what the heck is wrong with me.

Then. The Love of my life reminds me that, well... I don't suck. I'm still not worthy, but every once in a while it's comforting to remember that there is no one else for me but Jesus Himself. I wish I could see past the big picture... I wish I were able to pick out the little bitty things that should daily make me fall more in love with Him. I wish.

I thought that the glorious age of twenty-one would instantly make me more mature. Sadly, I'm mentally, emotionally, and physically the same person I was three days ago. Selfish and searching and lost without Him.