I wrote this back in May. Tell me what you think.
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Compromise. It’s an eerie word, that’s for sure, and has been visiting quite a bit. I wonder if perhaps I should peek into my heart to find some stashed in there somewhere. Hmm, one mess on the floor seems to be a tiny little word that packs a blow: entertainment. Books, movies, tv, music, you name it… each takes a pick at my innocence and decency every time I tell myself it’s ok. This flesh that I fight pushes me over the edge sometimes, but as of late, when such a thing occurs, I feel awful; literally exhausted, mentally and physically, and even sometimes physically sick. That’s a “knock-knock, the Lord’s here,” in case you were wondering. One more thing to add to the ever-growing list is my thoughts. I tell myself they’re ok too, and the fight ensues.
So where to go from here? Some might suggest the crazy house to learn a thing or two about being a real human being. Who really thinks about the decisions they’re making anyway? Hello, Mr. Problem. I do believe we’ve been looking for you. Everyone knows Mr. Problem, but his pseudonym is much more recognizable: Selfishness. I can just feel the world cringing at the sound of those letters together, and yet, the world is wrapped up inside of it like beans in a burrito… or more comfortably, like a chilly body in a warm blanket. No one in their right mind wants the blanket torn off… it feels so good. Yes, well, were I the only homo sapien in existence, it might actually make sense.
This is changing up real fast for me. Know why? Someone is jealous for me. Mmm, those words are sweet to my ears and ever so gentle on my heart.
