Friday night

All I can do

Is apologize

For things that aren't my fault

Because I'm frightened

Frightened of being

Who you don't want me to be

A Moses Life

Don't you wish

You could have stood next to Moses?

Heard the breath of God

And saw His hands save your life?

Hmm

There are days

And months

And years

When I need that speaking fire

That holy ground

That bloody water

To get it

To know it

The hand of God

There's something about the hand of God

That I can't wait to discover

I think

That when I first see Him

The constant Love of my life

I'll touch His face

Then His hand

And then perhaps

With a tear in my eye

Ask Him how He parted the sea

Sometimes it's not okay

That I have to wait

I'd like to see

A parting sea

God, give someone a staff

And let us know You

And fear You again

I can't tell when I can't speak

I'm kinda mad about the Wim thing.

The Wim thing?

No, the Rim thing!

You're kinda mad about the Rim thing?

The Rim thing? No, silly, the Kim thing.

Okay, but what about the Kim thing?

It's not the Kim thing! Why can't you get it? It's the Dim thing.

The Dim thing...?

Ugh. Forget it. I knew you wouldn't understand.

June 3rd

I'm all alone

It's a difficult night

A birthday passed

Yesterday

That I forgot

But shouldn't have

Wouldn't have

A year ago

No

I should have

And I would have

Except that I was reminded

My Neighbor

This lady lived right next to me

Who peeked through her window occasionally

She screamed a lot

And her cotton-white hair and steely eyes

Did nothing to improve my opinion of her

She'd hang out her panties and shirts and socks

Every

Single

Day

Because she had nothing better to do

But fill up the washer and scrub-a-dub-dub

Her clothes

They were hideous, too

All the while I felt sorry for her

Especially when she cut her grass

With that ancient mower

And when she talked of her husband

With a scratchy, nasty voice

One day she kicked a basketball away from me

I think she meant to steal it

Instead I grabbed it and asked her

"Why are you so mean?"

She's gone now

I think she takes pills

And plays bridge and makes puzzles with the other old folks

She's happy

And

She wants to come home

I'd love to live without it

There's a thing beneath my chest

That never lies because it never speaks

Some say it speaks

But not I

I say it thumps and aches

And thumps and aches

Thumps and aches

Thump

Ache

Then the corners of my mouth give way to gravity

Salt water soon flows down the skin on my face

And I know what it is to stop breathing

That thing, that monster underneath my ribcage

Is screaming

Like those stupid blondes in old movies

Who say nothing, but scream

It's high-pitched, don't you think?

Too high

So my discovery:

There's a shrieking, girly monster

Somewhere in my chest

I think it's on the left side