Maybe that's why I'm having such trouble talking with Him... because words aren't enough. I've come to realize that they can't ever express everything inside of me, no matter how hard I try. I'm not eloquent. My words often don't reflect my heart. So how do I talk with God if I can't speak?
Lately I literally feel like my lips are incapable of forming words for Him. You know how some people lose the desire to live? Sometimes I lose all desire to speak. That's when my relationship with the Lord becomes difficult... I'm not able to just sit with Him when talking doesn't cut it.
I've been feeling like God is pressing something on my heart: I try too hard in my relationship with Him. If I simply live to please Him and help Him love other people through me, I'll be accomplishing so much more and experiencing such joy and peace than if I was focusing on what I should and shouldn't do... how I should and shouldn't act... what I should say or shouldn't say.
Anyway, it took all this to say: I haven't been speaking with God. I miss Him, but the words just won't come. So I'll serve and love and just live life in the hopes that my lips will be loosed and eventually give way to a much-needed conversation.
1 comment:
Oh, Rebecca. You are one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever had the fond pleasure to meet. You are such a woman of God, that you make me crush on you just a little ;)
Keep the faith, love. Often times, I find my greatest times with God are when I'm not speaking but just listening. Soaking in His word, listening to a song praising Him, or even just sitting and breathing in the air He created... Even though I love words, I'm the same as you - I feel like words fall short of what I'm really trying to convey. But the greatest thing is, God isn't a human being - He knows what's on our hearts and He knows what we're thinking and feeling without us having to say a thing! (Don't we wish that's how men were sometimes? Er, but I digress.. :P) Literally talking with God is something I feel like everyone needs in their lives, but we don't need to do it all the time. Sometimes we need to make it a two way street and let Him do the talking for a bit ;)
I love you.
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